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During the march of the Dadar residents against the proposed hawker zone, a rather burly lady remarked that she was disappointed with the turnout. To which, her walking companion observed that had the organizers provided dhansak at the end of the march, at least 500 more Parsis would have joined. The conversation then drifted to the logistics and cost, not of the hawker zone, but the dhansak. The marchers agreed that some spicy dal with a few succulent meat balls floating, even if served in paper plates and accompanied only by kachumbar and not the mandatory kebabs, would have made the march truly memorable.
If the burly lady expects similar feasting at the forthcoming elections to elect five trustees of the Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP), scheduled in September, she may be sorely disappointed. Some party poopers have come out with a so-called Code of Conduct (CoC) to govern these elections.
The CoC directs that no candidate will provide any "food box, lunch/dinner or gifts” at any voters’ meeting or even do home delivery of lagan-nu-bhonu at the voter’s residence. "Transportation (including hiring of buses) or food shall not be directly or indirectly be given to any voter from out of station who comes to participate in the voting,” says the CoC. No candidate will be permitted to spend more than three lakh rupees on his/her election campaign, stipulates the CoC. "Candidates and their supporters,” warns the CoC, "will not create disturbances like hooting, booing, interrupting or sloganeering.” "Any types of demonstrations, gheraos or picketing before the homes or places of work of the candidates by any one protesting against the candidates’ opinions or activities are barred,” fume the framers of the CoC.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why don’t we also provide in the CoC that thou shall wear sudreh and kusti during campaigning and thou shall only serve "regular,” and not bottled water, at voter meetings and thou shall not ask impolite questions to the candidate and thou shall maintain a decibel level below 20 at all meetings and speak in a soft, modulated voice with a false accent, if you can, and thou shall not advertise in the Parsi Press (whatever is left of it) or publish your manifesto on art paper and thou shall not glower at other candidates but give them a shy smile?
Children will not play, monkeys will not climb trees, donkeys will not kick, Parsis will not enjoy food after a stormy meeting and no abuse will ever slip from their lips. Anything more, sirs?
The CoC is an exercise in pomposity and even provides for legal sanctions, if anyone breaches it. "Votes cast for the candidates who have not submitted their statement of expenses will not be considered in the final result. All activities which are corrupt practices or electoral offences such as bribery, undue influence, intimidation of voters, impersonation, are prohibited. A voter accompanied by security personnel shall be permitted to vote only after previous intimation to the president. No sitting trustees or any one else shall enter the polling precincts except when coming to cast his/her vote,” provides the CoC.
The scheme of election of BPP trustees has been sanctioned by the Bombay High Court since 1908, the latest order of 2007 introducing universal adult franchise. The CoC, even if adopted by all the BPP trustees and the candidates, is not mandatory and can have no legal effect. No sanctions can be imposed on a candidate who refuses to abide by it or who breaches it. Hence, the "sanctions” sought to be imposed by the CoC are simply unenforceable. To make the CoC mandatory, the High Court has to modify the scheme of election, after following the process laid down. However, no one wishes to approach the Court as he/she is aware that this will result in delaying the elections and the present lot continuing in office. Given the severe infighting among the trustees, in the boardroom and before the Charity Commissioner as well as in the courts — civil and criminal — few want the present impasse and standstill in decision making to continue. Be that as it may, the CoC, without being a part of the court sanctioned scheme, is toothless and not worth the paper it is printed on.
The CoC wants the BPP/baug associations not to permit a candidate who has not complied with the CoC to campaign in the baugs or colonies. This is legally untenable and would amount to discrimination. It can also be successfully challenged in a court of law.
As had often happened during the historic 2008 elections, after a heated meeting, supporters and opponents would merrily down a beer and polish off some chicken farchas; bonding and mingling happily. We, as a community, love feasting — at weddings, navjotes, gahanbars and at political meetings. Hardly any voter will change his vote for the candidate who provides better food. By suggesting otherwise, the CoC is insulting the intelligence and integrity of voters. And what, pray, is so odious about some good-natured and robust hooting and booing at election meetings? It all adds to the fun. Have the worthies behind the CoC tried to impose a code of conduct on the present BPP trustees as to how they conduct themselves — at meetings and outside? The viciousness which is unleashed is terribly unParsi. The same ladies and gentlemen would now wish to foist a code of conduct on us voters. Physician, heal thyself!
It is a cardinal rule that one never tries to impose any code if one lacks the power to enforce it. It will only compound the problem. Do not take the BPP elections so seriously (we learnt this, at our peril, when in 2008, our "star panel” was demolished by the masoor-paav brigade). The Punchayet is fast becoming an anachronism. Unlike in 2008, none in the front ranks will contest. Some old fashioned haandagiri (crude loutishness), once in seven years, is not such a bad thing. We love to laugh at ourselves. The BPP is worthy of being laughed at. So are the candidates who will dare to contest or recontest along with a sprinkling of nuts and fruitcakes. With this cocktail of ribaldry and rowdiness, at least let our palates be pampered and let us be entertained by some mildly abusive behavior. Please do no deprive Ms Bhesania of her biryani. At least, it is wholesome and tasty. Dump the CoC and let the merriment begin.