"I have come to realize that while most teens and young adults are the same everywhere, there are some inherent similarities and unique characteristics among the children of the diaspora. We are extremely proud of our Indian and Parsi heritage... We believe in helping others, being altruistic, honest, kind and respectful... We know that we need to be successful and unique to take our place in the world and be counted,” summed up 16-year-old Rhea Bhacka (pictured) of Muscat, Oman, a grade 10 student at the American British Academy, who decided "to find out what it means to be a Parsi” as part of a project for her International Baccalaureate (IB) diploma.
"We are independent thinkers and cannot be slotted. One cannot tell us to behave in a certain way just because we are Parsi. Do not try to herd us. We are who we are and in our own way incorporate humata, hukhata, huvarshta (good thoughts, words and deeds) in our daily lives and that is the way it should be,” added the teenager.
In the introduction to her 60-page thesis titled "The Zoroastrians: A brief look at history, culture, traditions and identity,” Bhacka writes, "I spent my early childhood in India and moved to Oman when I was only five years old due to a change in my dad’s job. Being a third culture kid living in Oman, it has been hard for me to connect with my religion, as I don’t know any Parsis here.
"Today, when I go back to my home country India, I feel different from my family and friends. When they talk about important Parsi holidays and festivals and go to the fire temple, they do so with a feeling of rightness, of being a part of their identity. My parents and grandparents do try and impress upon me the importance of my religious and cultural identity; but sometimes, I feel like an alien.”
In the chapter titled, "Generation Next,” she presents the findings of a survey from a questionnaire answered by 18 youth (including herself) from Oman, UAE, New Zealand and Canada. "Across the board, the Kiwis felt that they were Parsis first, Indians next and New Zealanders later. In America, surprisingly, I had the same response, Parsi first! In the United Arab Emirates (UAE) there was a mix, while most felt that they were Indians first and Parsis later, there were two who felt that they were Parsis first.
"Except for one person who said that it was not so important, every person I surveyed, including myself, felt that it is very important to learn about our religion… All 18 say it is somewhat important to recite your prayers!... About five of the people I surveyed said that they wore the sudreh-kusti every day, even to school or at work and that their friends/colleagues were ‘chilled out’ about it. However, the rest of them (including me) don’t wear the sudreh and kusti for various reasons: multi-cultural classes, comfort, and even convenience. I personally was teased about it when I was very young and since then, have given up wearing them…
"The overwhelming response was that religion does not matter when it comes to dating/choice of spouse and while parental approval is important, it would not be life-determining for them. Also one person pointed out, with the (community) getting smaller and smaller, what were the odds of them meeting the ‘right Parsi.’ Only one said that he would prefer to marry within the religion because of cultural and other similarities… While some said that their parents would be fine with them dating someone from another community, at least five responded that their parents would prefer them to date/find a Parsi first. Three people responded saying that their parents would be completely against it.”
When dealing with grandparents/relatives who would like them to behave in a certain way expected of Parsis, the youth maintained, "We are good children. While most of us would go ahead and lead our independent lives, we would also listen to their point of view and give them all due respect. But yes, that would not mean changing who ‘we’ are and our thoughts to please them. As a part of the diaspora, we teens and adults are more accepting of other cultures and that is a very important part of who we are.”