Our wonderful Granny, Coomi Nariman Munshi, was born on April 10, 1910 in Bharuch. She was the eldest of 12 children and spent much of her childhood raising her siblings. When she grew up she was determined to have a small family and educate herself and all the kids. Though very bright, she had been forced to stay home to help with child raising and she regretted not being the doctor she had always aspired to become.
In her early 20s, she met a distant relative and they fell in love. To this day, she speaks very fondly of her Nariman. Love marriages were not altogether common in her era but he was a Parsi from a good family so there were no objections. They had four boys, spaced two years apart, who arrived soon after marriage. Her husband really wanted a girl so they kept trying until their Rani was born — her real name was Mahrukh — our mom. That gave them five kids and they were happy. Mamavaji’s (maternal grandfather) work took them to various parts of India and she enjoyed getting to know the country well. She told me how her husband would come home from work, first calling out to her "Molly! Molly” (his nickname for her) and they would spend the rest of the evening together. Being so deeply in love, it was a huge tragedy when my grandfather was murdered by one of his factory workers who was an alcoholic and had been demoted by him.
The whole family, including Granny, was in a state of shock from the death of their powerful patriarch. They just couldn’t believe that he was dead. Life became a challenge and Motamai (as Mamaiji was known by her siblings) became a single mother at the age of 42, fending for her children ranging in age from 12 to 18 years. The older ones were earning and Granny somehow managed to keep heart, body and soul together despite her grief.
Clockwise from alongside: Coomi Munshi on her 100th birthday; with granddaughters Farah and Veeda Shroff
She lived a full and hearty life in her fifties, becoming a grandmother and loving this role. As her eldest grandchild, I remember her lovely lullabies, proverbs, stories and, most of all, her encouragement. She’d tell me to "shine out!” even though I wasn’t a boy and thus would have to face some hurdles. She told me that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. We were very lucky that she spent many years in Canada with us. We enjoyed watching her teach English to some new immigrants from Japan!
She is hale and fit though she has crossed a century, walking every day. She garnered much attraction from men as she maintained her good looks into her senior years. We’ve all heard the story of how her fiery temper took over one day and she slapped one of her male in-laws in public, causing quite a stir! Granny was also the consummate marketing woman. She could bargain like nobody else! She enjoyed the friendly to-and-fro verbal exchange.
Many have wanted to know Granny’s secret for making it to such a ripe old age. She did not subscribe to many of the age old maxims like "eat very healthy food” or "don’t eat too much.” Granny loves her food — lots of it! She would eat blocks of butter in a few bites and late at night she’d sneak into the kitchen to eat pastries that the family had denied her a few hours earlier. She used to be quite roly-poly but ever super active. She inspired us all with her hard work.
She helped to raise many of her grandchildren with great love and currently lives with four generations under one roof! She is indeed the main root of a huge and sturdy tree.
Farah Mahrukh Coomi Shroff
"Journey of the heart”
A fanciful idea formed in my head in the autumn of 2009 — that I must go to Bombay in April to be there for my beloved Granny’s 100th birthday. A 100 years is an amazing milestone for anyone to reach and I wanted to be there to honor her.
I had last seen Granny in January 2006 when I went to India with my mother and husband and my baby, her great-grandson, who was in my womb. We told stories and laughed. It was a wonderful visit. I took videos and tons of photos. When we left after our two-week holiday to return to Canada, Granny was 96 years old. She sat in her living room and I said my goodbyes through wrenching sobs. My departure was fraught with ripping emotions and the uncertainty about whether I would ever see her again. Despite Granny suffering a serious heart attack in 2009, God would see her through to her 100th birthday.
My Granny, living in Bombay and I, a resident of Vancouver, have always been very close. In fact, as my mother suffered ill health, beloved Granny, along with my saintly Bapaiji (paternal grandmother), came to Canada to help raise my sister and me. Granny lived with us in Vancouver for several years. We had many adventures together. We would go swimming, drive around in my little white Volkswagen Beetle, giggle, eat junk food and go to the park. I’d help her cook, we’d play games together and shop. It is without hesitation that I can say that my wonderful grandmothers and my parents helped me to become who I am today. Granny and Bapaiji taught me my navjote prayers and instilled in me the values of good thoughts, good words and good deeds. From a young age I knew I would be a lawyer as my father (another inspiring person in my life) is a lawyer and Queen’s Counsel. Dad recently retired and yes, I became a lawyer and am happily practising law today, but that is another story for another time.
My dilemma in the latter half of 2009 was how I could go to Bombay as I had a boy, aged three at the time and we’d never been apart for more than a few hours at a stretch. My husband was terribly busy running his law practice. I wanted to figure out a how-to-plan before telling anybody about my idea. It occurred to me that I would have to ask for help. Simple really, but daunting for someone who is usually the helper. A dear friend offered to look after my boy and take him to nursery school while I was away and my parents, husband and uncle would fill in the rest of the time. My plan to go now had legs! Without further hesitation, I contacted my Uncle Kersi in Bombay and asked him if it was all right if I came. Typically welcoming, Uncle Kersi encouraged me and asked me to advise him of my travel dates. In short order, everything fell into place. I got my travel visa, booked my air ticket, notified my clients, made endless lists on how to take care of my son with information on what food he eats, what toys he prefers and the like. I e-mailed all the travel details to my cousin in Bombay and was set to go. I bought gifts and packed my bags.
Finally, on April 5, 2010, I journeyed from Vancouver to join my family in Bombay in celebrating Granny’s centennial year on April 10. My family was so welcoming, I was thrilled to be there for her big day and party. Uncle Kersi and Aunt Zarine put on a lavish bash for Granny at the Wodehouse Gymkhana for approximately 100 people. It was a night to remember. Granny was surrounded by many well-wishers, her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends and her younger brother. There were touching speeches and her great-granddaughter, Ariaa, sang for her. Granny, in her new silk gown, well coiffed hair and fine jewelry looked radiant and enjoyed herself. She dug into her delicious chocolate dessert with gusto. I was by her side throughout the evening, admiring her. We drove back to Rustom Baug and Granny went to bed with a smile on her face.
I will always remember the delicious ravo that was made on the morning of Granny’s birthday, and eating it with her. Granny had a special bath that morning. I had brought her some special rose water and cream soap. As per the Parsi tradition, my Aunt Rhoda created beautiful chalk imprints up and down the stairs of the building and big garlands were hung. The flowers were beautiful. My uncle had tons and tons of pink beribboned boxes of sweets sent round to friends and neighbors and the doorbell rang with deliveries all day long. My cousin Anosh and I made special birthday wishes at the well in the Baug.
I stayed in Bombay for five short days as I could not be away from my son for long. It was a quick trip, almost like a fantasy, but it was a lifetime in the making. I spent each minute I could by Granny’s side. Being together, holding her hand, walking and loving her were the highlights of my trip. I will be forever glad that I made this journey of the heart. It felt so good and so right. How I love and esteem my Granny. I admire her for her sense of fun, joie de vivre and perseverance. She may now be hard of hearing and with poor vision, but she continues to inspire everyone who knows her, both in Bombay and in Vancouver. Every day, she goes with her maid for a walk in the Baug, climbing down three flights of stairs, no less. My family in Bombay deserve much credit for their love and care of our beautiful treasure.
As I have done for years, I still write one letter a month to Granny. These days, she can’t read too well, but she holds the letters and cards, often containing pictures or small treats, for a time, and knows that they are from me. Our connection can never be broken.
On April 10, 2011, my beloved Granny celebrated her 101st birthday! God bless her! We phoned Bombay and she came on the line long enough for my son and I to shout "Happy, Healthy Birthday Granny!”
Veeda Shroff