The second advertising phase of Jiyo Parsi scheme has caused a furor in the community, with the advertisements being considered regressive, insinuating and in bad taste ("A class apart,” Parsiana, September 7, 2017).
Under the present conditions, it is very difficult for us to reverse the declining trend as young couples are averse to raising more children. Earlier, about four children were normal in a family; seven to eight and occasionally a cricket team of 11 siblings also were raised. With such a high rate of births, we multiplied in numbers and values.
Since the last 70 plus years, we have witnessed a sharp decline in the number of births for various reasons. The most important reason is a mindset that has resulted in bringing up only one child and offering the best care and comfort that the parents can afford. We have come to believe that by providing greater comforts, expensive toys and lavish birthday parties, etc we are doing the best for our children. We fail to realize that material goods do not bring the joy and happiness one obtains from the company of siblings, a thrill which cannot be compensated by all the wealth of the world.
This one child norm has brought a decline not only in numbers, but also in moral values. With constant attention and pampering, the only child is never contented, tending to be moody, selfish and arrogant, reluctant to share or care for others. The rich child has heaps of expensive toys and gadgets, but no companion to play with! With such an attitude, the child is unable to adjust in social circles and later in life, with business associates and life partners.
With brothers and sisters around, we are assured that our children are in good company, secure and protected against the negative influence of others. Family life becomes disciplined, orderly and easier when children learn to share their duties and accept their responsibilities.
Bringing up more children is easier than bringing up one pampered child. A few fights and small scuffles among siblings are inevitable, but those add spice to their lives and help to build their characters. Children are so pure in heart, they patch things up in no time and stand by each other in times of crises even when they are away from each other. Blessed are those who have brothers and sisters to share in their happiness and being consoled in their hour of grief. Siblings are the most precious gifts to us from our loving parents!
For a big family, daily dinner is party time, with news and gossip, fun and jokes, and loud, hearty laughter to add taste and flavor to the simple meals! Members brought up in large families are generous, broadminded and compassionate — qualities that help to spread happiness all around.
Another advantage of having more children is greater security for our old age. With only one child, who for any reason fails to deliver, you may land in an old age home, unwanted and uncared for! With more children, even if one is not with you, there will be others.
Yet another reason given by parents for restricting the size of the family is the high cost of education. Nearly all Parsi schools offer incentives to Parsi students, inviting them to join their institutions. When affluent members of other communities desperately seek admissions in our Parsi founded schools, it is unfortunate that we prefer high profile international schools for our children where they study along with the children of rich and often corrupt politicians and bureaucrats. No wonder we are finding a decline in moral values among the youth.
After fleecing parents with exorbitant fees, the children still need coaching. We can imagine the standard of teaching in these posh schools! The child relying on private coaching, remains inattentive in class and ultimately loses interest in learning. After school hours, when it is time for children to be on the playgrounds, they are off to tuition classes lugging heavy bags. After tuitions, the family is glued to the TV sets. Is this the quality of life we plan for our children? Even middle-class parents prefer to send their children to Christian convents, rather than to our excellent Parsi institutions.
Loans and scholarships are easily available for all deserving students of the community for higher education. The goal of education is not only to develop intelligence, but to build character, self-confidence and the power to think and judge. Professionals occupying high positions in their respective fields are not necessarily products of elite institutions, nor have they always been toppers.
Children are our most precious assets. We work hard to create more wealth, but we do not care to raise more children, to enrich our lives and transmit our rich Zoroastrian culture and heritage. Survival has no meaning if values are not retained. We cannot sit back basking in the glory of our ancestors. We have to bounce back, restore our prestige and remain an outstanding community, a role model for other communities! PIROJA JOKHI
piroja.jokhi@yahoo.com