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Ever imagined how our world would unfold if stories and characters out of comic books would be for real? What if the village of Gaul from the Asterix and Obelix series actually existed? With its rustics tilling the soil and hunting for berries, wild boars and Romans — then spoiling themselves silly over grand feasts at night. Looking back into the past and to some extent the present, I realize that this fantasy is indeed, our reality.
Welcome to Dahanu, the land of chikoos and errr…us Iranis. Not so long ago if one were to alight at Dahanu by train, one would be welcomed by good old Rusi Blood Bank (known for donating record liters of blood) and Uncle Khodabux who would lounge on its platforms. Walk a little further and Adi Lambu (tall guy) with Soli Captain and Keka Mathha (no translation found) would wave enthusiastically as they sat on the stairs of the Town Hall enjoying their morning jalebi-chai. If curiosity asked who ran this little village? Mayor Gustad (Dadiseth) was easily accessible, resting on his wooden throne at the office of Congress. These may be legends from yesteryears, but peep trough train windows even today and you will most likely encounter Keku ‘Kaka’ Irani (not Mattha) playing the role of guard — whistling and waving at locomotives chugging by.
Moving off the platform and into the mumble jumble of the bazaar, take a right into Sorab Pavwala’s (bakers) lane to meet Hormuz Sarfabadi the Cold Storage King. No ordinary man, he is Popeye without spinach and has the natural strength of seven men and a heart of gold. While Herculean Hormuz stands testimony to the great Iranian lineage of Sohrab and Rustom from the Shahnameh, one late Beheramseth was acclaimed for crushing coconuts with his fists. Walking further down Irani Road passing Daaru Gali (alcohol lane), a counter emanating sweet-smoky fragrances will draw one’s senses. Renowned for its delectable cakes and savories, Agnee Bakery is bound to spoil the hungry traveller. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If one were to suffer from travel sickness or over-eating at Agnee’s, ask for Beheramshah Mazda, the Flying Doctor and you are sure to be directed towards little Armaity Clinic. Doctor sahib will not charge a penny if you are Zarthoshti. And for those lucky few who are invited, a joyride in his home-assembled flying machine is worth the jab of an injection. Not all Irani doctors seek death-defying thrills; some are in fact responsible for welcoming generations of newborns into our fold. Dr Perin Irani of the Parsee Lying-in Hospital fame and Dr Adi Irani who both retired to Dahanu are known for their steady hand and legendary zeal. At the young age of 84, Adi Doctor still steals the spotlight at parties.
Getting back onto our town trail, we hit the dusty road to Freedom Club Farms. Offering Dahanu its first gym and swimming pool, the property boasts a lake with fish and a redundant snake pit which once housed Sorabseth Mubaraki’s hissy pets. If visitors are fortunate (or unfortunate) they are treated to a safari of wild boars and foxes running galore in Freedom’s aloe vera fields. Further down the lane lies Dalyawadi. One of the older chikoo orchards of Dahanu, legend has it that its owner Merwanji Khodadad christened the property so in honor of one faithful servant. No one imagined that Dalya would have drowned while fetching his Seth’s game during one of their many hunting expeditions.
Spreading happiness along life’s path is as important as being self-joyous. Who would know that better than our very own Gover Mubarakai, Phiroza Tafti and Palli (Parivaz) Irani? Acknowledged for hosting the annual village mela (fun fair), Govermai is also responsible for keeping the town’s women slim and trim. Through her tailor-made aerobic stances and home cooked diet dabbas (meals) for the ladies, she has earned many thanks from their boyfriends and husbands alike.
Supplementing Govermai’s efforts, Phiroza too helps manage flab. A grandmother of three, this passionate trekker proves resourceful in identifying wildcat droppings along expeditions. If that fails to caution one, Phiroza is infamous for venturing into the wilderness without hiring any guide or knowing routes, for that matter. On a more urbane and a tongue tingling note, Palli of Hotel Pearline has perfected the art of cooking anything in honey and chilly. Be it chicken, paneer or prawns. Together with husband Ronnie, they are responsible for undoing all of Govermai and Phiroza’s good deeds of burning off fat. Still, nothing beats Firdosh ‘Birdybaba’ Irani’s’ pork vindaloo. Birdy serves it laced with magic portions of humor and tales of his misadventures. Be warned however, for he goes into a coma like trance post his meaty Friday brunch and spirited brew. A safer option may be to order the slow marinated wood baked ‘Love Chicken’ of Rustom Irani’s Meher Bakery.
If Iranis are synonymous with food, an excursion to Dahanu would be incomplete without a visit to Mickie Irani’s Crazy Crab or Jal Irani’s Golden Resort in Gholwad or even Parvez Dastoor’s Goolkhush Resort in Bordi. Besides serving scrumptious dishes, these properties tend to be home to oversize canines who while pretending to be friendly during the day serve as bouncers at night. 
The best time to visit Dahanu would be during the Chikoo Festival in February or for Navroz celebrations in March unless of course one is invited to Shahrukh Irani’s homestay in Gholwad off-season for pirate themed parties. Inspired by Irani enthusiasm, the festival celebrates Dahanu for all its abundance, although it may not entail dancing in a tub filled with the pulpy fruit as in a wine festival. The ambience, the humble people, the wildlife ridden foliage and, of course, faloodas more than make up for the lack of libation.
Speaking of faloodas, one can dig into one’s own on Navroz only after the head of the family has fired his double-barrel gun in the air to herald the new year. One must not forget to carry a sugar testing kit however, for at every home visited, falooda, gaz and sev will be force-fed.
While our tour of Dahanu and rendezvous with its mortals can be documented in a book of travels (or adventures?) it is worth noting that the Zoroastrian settlers of this colorful region may be few in numbers but buzzing in spirit and their culture of joy has been adopted widely by the natives. Dahanu may not enjoy the best tourist infrastructure or the modern spoils of a metropolis. We may no longer be as opulent as we once were, like the Romans, but we still have the same big hearts of the Gauls. So come join us in watching chikoos grow or hunting for berries and wild boars, followed by dining and dancing as the toddy flows.