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A marriage away from the home terrain of either the bride or groom, in earlier times, would be frowned upon because it was assumed the couple had eloped. In recent times such nuptials are considered highbrow, the prerogative of a few to enjoy the exotic locales of a destination wedding in the company of select guests.
"A destination wedding is actually defined as a wedding hosted 200 miles or more” from where the couple and many of their guests currently live, according to the USA based website theknot.com that adds, "A destination wedding doesn’t have to be far away in an exotic location whose name only half the guests can pronounce.” If the event is domestic it becomes a "domestination” wedding.

 

 

 

 

 

Of the seven event planners listed under Parsiana’s "Celebrations Guide” (pg 44), five mentioned that they are in the business of organizing destination weddings but rarely, if ever, get Parsi clientele seeking professional guidance. From the families of two Parsi couples who had planned destination weddings in recent times, one in Sri Lanka, and the other in Bekal in Kerala, we learnt that they chose not to hire a professional wedding planner as "it worked out too expensive.”
As conveyed to Parsiana by one prospective Parsi bride busy planning her own destination wedding, "We wanted a venue that would be new or different, that people hadn’t been to before.  Aside from that there were many practical considerations such as the number of guests, proximity to airport, flight connectivity to Bombay and Bangalore where a majority of the guests would be coming from…The biggest advantage (of a destination wedding) is that it’s something personal that everyone looks forward to.  Since the guest list is pruned, each person attending is important… (Guests) too are excited to come to a destination they have never been to or even heard of! But most importantly it’s a wedding that the bride and groom can enjoy. The disadvantages are that they are expensive and if you aren’t very meticulous it can create stress… New destinations are exciting but also more challenging.”
Hosting 220 guests for two days and nights, "Planning well in advance is essential so that you have time to iron out the bumps,” states the bride-to-be, adding, "WhatsApp is very useful to send pictures and talk to or form a group where various stakeholders can communicate and share their ideas and feedback…  Finding local vendors is challenging but even more challenging is explaining our requirements and (determining) if they are viable given the remoteness of the venue.”
"It took about three trips to Sri Lanka and numerous calls and emails to get to what we exactly wanted,” noted the mother of a Parsi groom alluding to the 100 invitees between the two families who attended the two-day celebrations at the beach resort, the first being a music night and the second being a pool party on the wedding day. "Destination weddings are great fun if you have a guest list of just very close friends and families. There are challenges in coordination but considering we live in an Internet age and almost everything can be done via emails or WhatsApp, it can be managed.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven prior trips to Dubai were required to be made by Vanita Bhandari (daughter of Perveez and Shyamsunder Aggarwal) when her son’s destination wedding was organized at Ras al Khaimah Hotel which is a 45-minute drive from the Dubai airport. The resort has properties on the beach front and the desert. Nearly 400 guests in attendance over two nights enjoyed the sangeet at the desert resort and the wedding at the beachside property. According to Bhandari, "Two nights is optimal so that guests feel they would have liked a little more. If the third day is thrown in, they feel it stretches too much... For two days, everyone’s focus is only on the wedding without the distractions of sightseeing and shopping.”
Personally ensuring that every little thing, including the clothes hangers, discount coupons for massages and buggy rides were in place in the guest rooms, Bhandari stresses on the importance of "a good rapport with the event planner and hotel staff.”  The cost of hosting ‘at home’ wedding celebrations in India with the high price of alcohol and taxes would be comparable to a destination wedding in the Middle East or South East Asian country, she realized. In these regions, resorts are familiar with Indian customs, she reveals. Unexpected glitches can always be handled, she says referring to their experience of a sudden storm in the night which necessitated change of location of the mandap at the last minute.
Among the event planners who offered Parsiana extensive feedback was Ervad Parvej Siddwa, founder and chief executive officer of 24x7 Marcom India LLP which has been organizing corporate events since 2005 and its offshoot, 24x7 Weddings LLP, founded five years later. He mentioned, "We don’t really see destination weddings getting popular within the community.” He believes destination weddings are easier, they save on décor, give the hosts an opportunity to enjoy quality time with their loved ones, an excuse to limit the guest list and start the honeymoon early. He recommends engaging wedding planners to save on time, work out the legalities, familiarity with local vendors and their language, and to help adhere to the budget. According to Siddwa, "Do you know why doctors don’t perform surgery on their own relatives? Because they are too emotionally involved. Similarly while planning a wedding there are a lot of emotions flying high. Keeping everyone happy becomes difficult when you are involved (with the formalities and details). But with our professional guidance, it becomes oh so simple.”
The range of services offered by destination wedding planners encompass selection of venue, designing and décor styling, printing of invitation cards, designing a wedding website, creating an event schedule, personalized shopping and styling for the bride and groom, choreography for the wedding functions, arranging for priests/registrars to officiate at the wedding ceremony, organizing food and beverage, transport, security and valet services, entertainment, videography and photography for the wedding and honeymoon, takeaway presents. Siddwa states, "All you need to do is find the bride or groom and leave the rest to us…”
Having organized one or two destination weddings a year over the last 10 years, although none among Parsis, Roxana Buhariwala is the fourth generation from the family of Framroze Hormusji Pavri and Sons that now operates as Dream Designs to undertake planning for festive occasions. "For a destination wedding, planning starts nearly a year in advance. There is a lot more of detailed planning than meets the eye,” she says. In conjunction with the client they decide on the destination, whether five star or three star, the caterer, the number of guests. For overseas customers, planning a wedding function in India itself becomes a destination wedding, she points out.
Also having planned destination weddings for the last 10 years, Darius Irani of Polad Caterers and Decorators says they choose not to advertise their services, preferring word of mouth referrals and publicity. As planners, they feel that organizing wedding functions in Bombay is far simpler, "jhanjhat kamti” than coordinating in other destinations in India like Mahableshwar, Aurangabad, Jodhpur and Delhi. Organizing events for clients with a large budget is naturally easier. Close relatives usually travel at their own expense while the hosts may bear the expenses for a select few invitees, states Irani.
Specializing as an anchor for families in celebratory mode, Pearl Contractor’s outfit Glitterati offers hospitality services for wedding festivities. As an anchor she has to engage the gathering in games and other events through the days leading up to the wedding. She alludes to the role of bridesmaid or maid of honor that is picking up in India. A close friend or relative, the maid is expected to accompany the bride at all times, meet all her needs, help her change into outfits for different events on different days whether it is the vanity function with bows and gowns or Rajasthani leheria or sangeet or carnival like wedding. Many families from Gujarat favor Silvassa as the venue for destination weddings and from Maharashtra, the preferred option is Lonavla, observes Contractor.
Among Parsi run establishments known to serve as a venue for destination weddings is Il Palazzo in Panchgani run by the Davierwallas which had shot into fame ever since cine star Aamir Khan had chosen to celebrate his wedding there. They have cottages with various configurations to accommodate approximately 100 guests. In addition to the spacious dining hall which can be transformed with on screen projection equipment as an entertainment or conference venue, guests can avail of additional facilities like swimming pool, gymnasium, cycling, pool tables, table tennis, carom, WiFi and a small library. For Parsi weddings they serve authentic lagan nu bhonu on patra at the venue. During the stay they also accommodate requests for pool side bachelor/sangeet parties.
"We have hosted several weddings” at the Cama Rajputana Club Resort in Mount Abu, noted Mehroo Cama, chairperson of Cama Hotels. On an average they have five destination weddings a year on their premises. Since their Resort has 42 rooms, a maximum of 130-140 persons can be accommodated so usually either the bride’s family or the groom’s family books their Resort and the second family books Palanpur Palace across from them. Their destination wedding package offers a three-night stay inclusive of breakfast. For the meals, the host families have the option of availing of the dining offered by the Camas that can cater to around 250 guests when additional staff members are brought from their Cama Hotel in Ahmedabad. The second option for the hosts is to bring their own chefs and staff who are permitted to cook on the grounds outside.  Cama Rajputana’s picturesque property sprawled over 26 acres in Mount Abu includes a large cricket ground where 1,000 guests can be conveniently accommodated.
Some religious minded in the community are known to perform weddings in Udvada so that they can pay obeisance at the Iranshah immediately after the nuptials. Since the ashirwad ceremony cannot be performed at the Atash Behram, the wedding may be performed at the Pundole Adaran. The khaani-peeni (food and drinks) is usually at one of the neighboring hotels/dharamshalas booked by the host to accommodate all outstation guests. Recently the Petit Sanatorium on the Bordi beach had served as a venue for a destination wedding.
Who pays for what in a destination wedding? Whilst this may appear to be a vexing issue, as recommended by theknot.com, the bride and groom (and/or their parents) are expected to pay for: a shuttle service to pick up guests from the airport, a rehearsal dinner, a welcome party, the wedding reception, transportation to and from the ceremony and reception sites, a morning-after brunch, select activities for the group like a tour around town, travel expenses for some elderly relatives with limited means. Guests are expected to pay for their travel, hotel room stay, meals and activities that are not a part of the wedding festivities.
No one can definitively say whether a destination wedding costs more or less than an at-home reception. However as pointed out on bridalguide.com, it is easier to keep costs in check in a faraway locale when the guest list is leaner and the choice of services is restricted. Those planning their own functions are advised by the website Destination Weddings & Honeymoons to never take the first offer but to shop around, to seek discounts on big-ticket items like catering instead of smaller ones like flowers, be willing to walk away if it is beyond the budget, be a good and reasonable customer to win vendor confidence and additional perquisites, ask to talk to the boss to ensure the best deal. Once you put your deal on the table, be quiet. Usually the one who chooses to fill the uncomfortable silence feels obliged to make further concessions.