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Having endured a rather uncomfortable pre-marital relationship with my surname Keeka, whose meaning and origin I am still unable to discover, Parsi surnames have always fascinated me. It was the timely and persuasive intervention of a ‘Dada’ and ‘Bhai’ that got me out of that predicament.
Growing up in a vast Parsi colony and going to a Parsi dominated school added to my curiosity. This was fueled further by a post-dinner game loosely based on an antakshari format but with Parsi surnames invented by my mamaiji (maternal grandmother), who strongly believed in infotainment before the word was coined.
Looking back, the surname Keeka that caused me much angst and elicited a lot of giggles in school and strange looks, was not half as funny as some others I came across later.
With the community shrinking rapidly, I thought a compilation of surnames was necessary, especially with some surnames in the process of meeting the same fate as some Burdies. The compilation is still at deVitre stage and will remain at Ashburner for a while, till some of the whys are answered, queries cleared.
This is a lighthearted look at Parsi surnames, with no offence meant to anyone, just a fabric woven with a warp of curiosity, a weft of humor and embellished with hope. On a serious note, the names indicate the Parsi spirit, their migration into the hinterland from the entry point on India’s west coast, embracing various professions, geographical locations, holding various positions and generally making the most of their lot, were Mehenti, and earning the goodwill of fellow citizens.
Before the system started, the name of the father used as a suffix sufficed. So my first question is to the almighty Khodaiji. From where did Bavaadam come? Was he an Edenwalla or an Adenwalla? Another question to the same Creator: if you created a Zarthoshtimanesh and Adarianwalla then why not Atashkadehwalla or Dadgahwalla?
 If there are Panthakis, Dastoors, Mobedjis and Boyewallas, then why no Ervads and Ostas? There are Sukhadwallas, but no Lobanwallas, Oonwallas but no Kastiwallas, Sadris but no Sadrawallas! (Unfortunately there’s no information about any Parsis in Lagos!)

 

 

 

And hey Parbhoo, if you created Gowadias, then why not Daepdinias and Dins? Is it because Din has a ‘juddin’ ring about it? What about Kamdin? And Khan, Khanbahadur and Khansaheb, Bhurekhan, Alla(h)valis and Pir?
By the way, I have my doubts about Dastur Meherjirana being the only Parsi in the court of Akbar the Great. What about the King’s mentor Behram Khan? Did he owe a due to Diu?
With the community’s positive attitude toward drink and food we have Daruwallas, Toddywallas, Ginwallas, Rumwallas and Winemerchant…even Pithawallas and Mowdawallas, Batliwallas and Sodawaterwallas to keep them company, with Dukandars to stock the stuff. But there are no Whiskeywallas, Vodkawallas or Chhantopaniwallas, not even a Lemonwalla or Raspberrywalla (Duke and Pallonji please note). But Shaw and Wallace are both there.
 If there are Machliwallas, Eedawallas, Makhanias, Powwallas, Doodhwallas then why aren’t there any Marghiwallas or Goshwallas which items enjoy higher levels of popularity? Besides, there was no ban in Gujarat under the benevolent Jadav Rana about eating chicken!
I have met a Kandawalla but no Papetawalla, despite the community’s fondness for the spud. But strangely, we do have Bhajiwallas, Patrawalas and even Ghaswallas!
We have Elchidanas, Lavangias, Mariniguns, Masalawallas, Limboowallas and Gorwallas to add spice, tang and sweetness… but Acharya is not a pickle packer and, yes, we do have Vaids in case of indigestion.
Then there are Kerawallas, but no Keriwallas, though we have Gotlas, Wadiwallas and Devgadhwallas. We could do with an Alphonso along with other borrowed surnames such as Grant, Forbes, Nicholson, Coachbuilder, Cabinetmaker, Spencer, Cooper, Crawford and finally Bennett.
There are Doctors, Hadvaids and Lawyers, but the surname Chartered Accountant is missing although the community has produced plenty of the last. Yes, there are Mehtas who handle finances, Nanavatis, Karanis, Treasurywallas and Paymasters with somewhat similar responsibilities.
We had a Karkhanavala and a Bhabha, scientists of international repute but why is Scientist not a surname despite having them in several universities abroad?
We have Pedder and Warden but no Napean. Dick yes, but no Tom, no Harry. Colabawalla, yes, but no Tardevias or Grant Roadwallas, although the community is also visible there.
 No Dadarwallas exist, but we do have Baugwallas. Perhaps in future we will have Andheriwallas and Jogeshwarias and even Borivalias when SoBowallas are sure that no passports are required to go to the suburbs, but we do have distant Vasaigaras.
Surnames with an authoritative ring such as Major, General, Marshall, Captain, Havaldar, Subedar and even a Constable exist. Very obviously, the one-of-a-kind Field Marshal will never be a surname (he might have wanted to be known simply  as Sam Bahadurji Coonoorwalla).

 

 

 

The strong Parsi connection with the railways reflects in Drivers and Guards but where are the Ticket Checkers, despite our honesty? And no Conductors either, not even the musical variety although the community has produced one of the greatest.
In fact, the connection with railways is so strong that almost every station, village and hamlet from Vasai onwards on the Western Railway (from Amroli to Maroli and Naegam to Zaroli) is represented in surnames. So much so that the erstwhile BB & CI (Bombay, Baroda and Central India) Railway could have been called Best Bawa & Choicest Irani Railway considering the Irani pockets of Palghar, Dahanu and Gholvad. We shall address them later along with NH (National Highway) 2 and the Great Indian Parsi Railway starting with Thanawalla and ending beyond the mighty Khareghats and puffing away further for Dhodys and more…
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the longest non-repetitive piano piece in western music, Opus clavicembalisticum was written by a Parsi, Kaikhosro Shapurji Sorabji, but it was not an Aria.
With no Battiwalla to help light up the dance floor while Goody Seervai played the Cuckoo Waltz (the Parsi favorite) the mantle for dance and the baton for music lie with the three Ds of dancing; Davar, Deboo and Dallas and the two Ws of music, Coomie and Farhad with a Farah in G major. Unfortunately, Mercury is not a Parsi surname, though it can be co-opted if the new board at Bombay Parsi Punchayet (BPP) permits!
Despite Ardeshir Irani’s pioneering venture in filmmaking and Sohrab and Keki Modi, Homi and J. B. H. Wadia following and a Rangoonwala writing about it and Karanjia publishing, there are no Cinemawallas! Of late, with Taraporevala and Adajania joining in and now young Cowasji (from Mhow) entering the fray, Bollywoodwalla and Film-maker may soon be inducted as official surnames.
We have Reporter, Writer, Press and Presswalla, Chhapkhanawalla, Chhapgar, Printer, Bookbinder, but no surname such as Journalist or Editor or Publisher though again, we have produced some pioneers in the print medium (Muncherji Cama, Jehangir Patel, Bachi Karkaria, Shernaaz Engineer, Freyan Bhathena and Maneck Davar). Why?
Soonawallas, Motiwallas and Hira Manecks abound and even Parakhs and Zaveris to value them, but no Chandiwallas or Rupawallas. If any exist, please raise your hand.
We have Roowallas and Sutarias but no Reshamwallas although we had a thriving silk trade with China.
There are/were Frenchman but despite the community’s loyalty to the Crown we have no Englishman, but yes we have Velati. The richest Irishman is one of ours but goes by the most modest of surnames. Isn’t that truly Noble? By the way, can we categorize the Italias in this overseas group? (No, says my sister, who is a Doctoratewalla in Library Science, for Itala is in Rajasthan and not in Europe.)
Close to and across the borders we have Ferozepurwalla, Que­tta­walla but no Lahorewalla or Karachiwalla.
We have Chinoy and Hongkongwala, but no Tokyowalla. Does Baliwalla belong to Bali?
There are Pleaders, Lawyers, Vakils but no Advocate, Juror or Judge, although again the community has produced quite a few eminent ones.
Most significantly, we have Damanwallas and Govekars but no Diuwallas (There’s a direct flight from Diu to Walla Walla in the US, check it on Google) seem to exist: the very place where the voyage ended and the journey started. If there be any, please say ‘Aye, aye’ like good sailors and Hodiwallas, who brought you here in the first place.
Our contribution to the freedom struggle is recognized through Gandhi, Patel and Dandiwalla.
We have Photographers but no Choreographers although again we have produced some of international repute.
 We have only Austin and Morris… despite the care and love we shower on our vehicles. Not a very good representation, considering apri Jaguar, Indica and Nano. And where are the Enfieldwallas?
We have Masters but no surname like Professor or Principal. In case of indiscipline, we have Naterwallas!
We have Talatis, Mamlatdars, Surveyors and a whole lot of Contractors but no Architects though we have produced some eminent ones such as Bhedwar, Kudianawala, Doongaji and others. The Contractors have turned into cricketers, columnists or comedians, with the exception of one, a Contractor who became an architect.
We have Kakas and Mamas but no Masas or Fuas… though there is Masina.
Dallas exists, but no Santa Barbara.
There are Clubwallas and Canteenwallas but no Hotelwallas, though again we have established the oldest and the very best of hotels.
(However, let me share a secret: Bombay’s most loved Confectioner was earlier a Messman.)
We have heavenly bodies such as a very, very rare Tara (just like the Hailey’s Comet) and a Tara-chand, and Suntook…
Despite Tata-owned TISCO there is no Lokhandwala; we have TELCO but no Jamshedpurwalla either.
Having established some of the earliest and greatest cotton mills in India, we have Bobbinmakers and Kapadias but no Millwallas (imagine today we might have a Neville/Nusli/Jeh/Ness Millwalla!)
Happily there are Sukhias, but fortunately no Dukhias…. and if there are….God, Allbless them and us, and wish for happy days to Cama-gain…
Let’s be happy, go forth and multiply… and keep Godiwalla busy.
Let’s hope that our population increases so much that BPP’s housing crisis does not in the meantime, become ‘realty.’ Let’s hope that new surnames such as Domainwalla, Programmer, Analyst, Designer and others are created and  there are so many of us that our Parsi spirit soars once more and there’s another mass migration to new shores and new surnames such as Sydneywalla, Auklandia, Antipodia, Dubhoy, Dohawalla, Alaski, Canadia and Vankooverji emerge. And that finally Worliwalla is officially inducted as a Parsi surname.