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"This research is an honest quest to explore the discrimination against women in the Parsi community... to understand the concerns of Parsi women in interfaith marriages (PWIM),” wrote Behnaz Mogrelia (pictured on page 38) in an introduction to her research project, "Parsi Women in Interfaith Marriages: Experiences and Perception,” submitted for her Master’s degree in social work from the Nirmala Niketan College of Social Work in March 2019. To her current practice of counseling and youth mentoring,  Mogrelia is starting work as a counselor at St Mary’s School and consulting counselor at Aangan Foundation.
For the PWIM study, Mogrelia approached 50 Parsi women married to non-Parsis under the Special Marriage Act. They ranged in age from 29 to 78, with the average age being 49, and at the time of marriage 27. Forty women were from Bombay, three each from Ahmedabad and Poona, one each from Delhi, Madras, Daman and Canada. Those from out of town were interviewed when they came to Bombay or over the phone. Eight percent were widowed, two percent divorced and none separated. The majority (76%) had married Hindus and "were practicing Zoroastrians,” the 26-year-old student wrote. Fourteen percent had married Christians, six percent Sikhs and two percent each had married Jains and Muslims. Of the 50, 40 were practicing Zoroastrians, 10 were not.
Most experienced discrimination from their families and society. Some family members broke all contact with them and at social functions they were viewed as "outcasts.” While 78% of the parents "accepted their daughters at the time of marriage,” 22% did not and "were not part of the marriage ceremony.” These 22% "accepted their daughters later, either after a child’s birth, or the passage of time or after confirming that she had not converted. Ninety percent accepted the non-Parsi husband while 10% did not. Whether they changed their minds later, is not stated. One 58-year-old respondent told Mogrelia, "On my wedding day, guests were betting how long my marriage would last — the maximum was a month.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though 69% wanted to perform their children’s navjote, only 21% did so. Many did not perform the navjote because of "lack of acceptance, fear of controversy and rejection.” Their fears are not unfounded. On January 11 this year when a reception was to be held in the compound of the Jeejeebhoy Dadabhoy Agiary in Colaba to celebrate the navjote ceremony of two children born to a Parsi woman married to a non-Parsi, a hue and cry was raised. In another case some years ago, a Parsi lady married to a Christian had to seek political and police assistance to ensure traditionalist vigilantes did not disrupt the reception. While a majority of outmarried women rightly see no legal bar to performing or celebrating a navjote, they believe the "discrimination is a result of orthodoxy.”
Almost 70% "experienced discrimination” either from the family or the community.  One 78-year-old respondent confided, "My seven-year-old son was asked to get out of the fire temple. He is so bitter since then, he has never visited an agiary.” At family jashans, 42 out of 50 PWIMs "were accepted,” while eight were not. Similarly, while 42 women managed to visit fire temples near their home or elsewhere, eight said "they were not allowed.” But one 74-year-old told Mogrelia, the "Udvada dastur did all the prayers and took names of my husband and children as well.”
 Regarding the  privileges accorded to Parsi men who marry non-Parsis, many rued the discrimination. But only two percent of the PWIM were aware of the Davar-Beaman judgment of 1908 that accorded men the privileges denied to women.
Mogrelia cites a research paper by Fasil Merawi published in the Imperial Journal of Interdisciplinary Research in which the author argues interfaith marriages make a positive contribution to  society and one should celebrate the differences.
Mogrelia notes she "experienced hostility as well as strong support during data collection.” Many PWIMs who had suffered some form of humiliation were suspicious of her motives and bona fides. One accused her of being "disrespectful to her religion,” another "questioned her ability” to undertake the study. "One respondent got angry” at being asked if she had had her navjote performed. One "refused to sign the consent form and also refused permission for the audio recording.” But a bedridden lady of 70 was "extremely eager to share her views on her more than 40 years of a happy interfaith marriage.”
In her conclusion Mogrelia states, "The researcher began this study as a personal quest to understand why her community tends to close its doors to others...it is only after a scientific query that she realized every issue has multiple dimensions, can be viewed from different perspectives and must include the input of all stakeholders...knowledge is power and will help address the concerns of PWIM and also rid the community of common misconceptions.”
While Mogrelia’s field work is extensive, her historic and contemporary research is sketchy. The sources, experts, books referred to by her are few. That would explain statements like Parsis "left Iran with their holy fire” (the fire was consecrated in India) and the mythical, totally undocumented fable of the sugar being put in a bowl of milk when Parsis first sought entry into India, religious texts "are written in Persian” (they are written in Avesta, Pahlavi and other languages), and priests who bless interfaith couples are often "excommunicated” (there is no excommunication in Zoroastrianism). Among the so-called conditions laid down by a mythical raja she lists the "promise never to convert.” This is not stated even in the literary Qissa i-Sanjan narrative. She cites a source to state that the Supreme Court judgment in the Goolrookh Gupta case "allowed all PWIMs to enter the temples managed by a trust in Gujarat,” but the order is "followed only selectively.” The court has yet to pass judgment in the case. The Valsad anjuman agreed on compassionate grounds to permit Gupta and her two interfaith married sisters to attend only the funeral and subsequent prayers for their parents, as and when they die.  
But Mogrelia’s painstaking legwork in uncovering the interfaith married Parsi women and telling their stories is highly commendable. Not that the facts and figures presented are going to change the prejudices of the misogynistic Parsi. Bigotry is too deeply rooted in their psyche for that. But if the study creates awareness, then women may begin to  "enjoy their legal and religious rights,” states the researcher. And also equality, which they have been denied for over a century.