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My mother is 87 years old. She lives alone with only a helper who comes in for a couple of hours every day. She has a thriving sudreh stitching business where people are constantly coming to her home to give orders, have their measurements taken and to collect the stitched sudrehs. She is active, goes to the bazaar on her own, perhaps twice a week to pick up her daily essentials and often even gets some fresh fish for me (this was a daily occurrence until Covid-19 hit). Of course her never-say-die spirit and glass always full to the brim attitude has helped her face adversity, which she has had her share of.

Why is she, an octogenarian, able to do all this and more? The major reason for this is that she has a purpose in life; she wakes up every morning thinking of who will be visiting her that day to give or collect sudrehs, and how many of these mulmul inner wear garments she will make on that day. She stays connected to the visitors; to my brother [who calls her every single day from Toronto, asking after her and all her relatives, friends and people in her galli (lane)] and me (I call her every day on my way to work). She talks to her sisters, her cousins, her nine-month-old great grandson. She takes her medicines regularly and is active throughout the day.

These are the things our seniors need. A purpose to get up for every day, someone to chat with and stay connected with and some younger people who keep in touch with them and look after their basic needs — whether it is nutrition, medical visits, socialization at home and out of it. Unfortunately, everyone isn’t as fortunate as my mother.

As a community we need to make some provisions for our seniors. Often people who are generally mobile cannot step out of their homes as their buildings don’t have lifts. Others need some physical help but are unable to find people to help them go for a walk or sit with them on a bench in the park. Can we not have some organized volunteer system where young people can do this on weekday evenings to increase the mobility and socialization of our seniors?A Harvard study has shown that socialization and connectedness is the single most factor which helps with quality of life. Often physical well-being of the elderly may be taken care of, but what about mental and emotional wellness? One of the most crucial issues faced by the elderly is loneliness. Loneliness then leads to depression, a diminished will to live, and can often exacerbate dementia. These are dangerous psychiatric conditions and if we can prevent at least some of the risk factors we could help improve the quality of life in their sunset years. 

Basic medical care in the form of doctors’ visits, hearing check-ups (deafness can be a leading cause of lack of interaction and self-isolation) eye check-ups, and routine blood tests can identify and mitigate many medical disorders. Holding camps for the seniors and assisting them to get there is something we can easily do as a community. I see that such camps are being held in many baugs, but it is essential to ensure that the elderly reach the camps.  

Recently, assisted living has been seen to be a far better option than old age homes for the elderly or those living at home with only hired help and lacking supervision by family members. Assisted living helps senior citizens to maintain a sense of autonomy and be socially engaged under the umbrella of supervised medical and housekeeping care. Can we not have these assisted living spaces for our people?

As medicine advances, longevity increases. Our community has always had more elderly persons than most other communities in India. In order to accommodate our seniors and to give them a good life till the end of their days we need to find ways to help them by using the finances available to us, getting more of our youth involved in taking care of the older generation and improving the availability of medical facilities so all can access them. We would like more elderly people to be like my 87-year-old mother.

Dr Pervin Dadachanji is a consultant psychiatrist in Bombay.