Died: Bapsi Fali Nariman, 89, president emeritus of the Delhi Commonwealth Women’s Association (DCWA), known for her charitable work and as an author of eight cookbooks; on June 9, 2020 in New Delhi.
"Even with dialysis twice a week for the last two years of her active life, she would have meetings and lunches everyday. She had a never-say-die spirit, and her positive, can-do attitude lives on in her children and grandchildren,” remarked her granddaughter Nina Nariman, an advocate. Bapsi’s husband Fali being a leading jurist and son Rohinton, a Supreme Court judge, notice of her demise was even issued by the Supreme Court but due to government regulations only 20 people were allowed to attend the funeral.
With her kind and charitable disposition, she contributed her expertise to different organizations. In Bombay, she helped the Time and Talents Club raise funds for welfare causes and contributed several recipes for its cookbook that is still referred to as the Bible of Parsi and gourmet cooking. In Delhi, she was actively involved with the Delhi Parsi Anjuman and contributed generously to its activities. The DCWA created a moving tribute on her demise, in the form of a video. She was also an active member of Women’s International Club and worked extensively with Dr Mohini Giri, chairperson of the Guild of Service, for young widows in Vrindavan.
Her books were best sellers, the most popular being A Gourmet Handbook of Parsi Cuisine and Traditional Parsi Dishes, The Exotic Vegetarian Party Recipes, Microwave Cooking for the Indian Palate, Cooking with Yoghurt and Rush Hour Cookbook: Great Dishes in 30 Minutes or Less.
Warm and affectionate, "Bapsi was a woman of many parts and was a cementing factor in our family – able, in many senses, and in almost everything she did,” acknowledged Fali. He considered her "the prime mover of all the good that has happened to us over the years. She was generous to a fault… always positive in her outlook and approach, never diffident or negative.” He recollected the time in 1999 when they were in the UK for a couple of weeks, and the then Deputy Prime Minister L. K. Advani called to seek his consent to be nominated by the President of India as a member of the Rajya Sabha. When Fali told Advani that he would give his response on his return to India, Bapsi’s instant reaction was "‘Don’t say no.’ So I was compelled to say yes even before coming back to Delhi… That’s how I became a member of Rajya Sabha and enjoyed every moment of it.”
In the 65th year of their married life, Nina felt "they were an extremely devoted couple. Their relationship gets the perfect metaphor in reality: she taught him to dance, while he taught her to drive. His grandmother, Shirin Burjorjee, fondly known to the family as ‘Pochi granny (of the silky smooth cheeks)’ had the firm belief that it was Bapsi who would make Fali a great man!” In 1972 the Narimans moved from Bombay to Delhi when Fali took over as additional solicitor general of India. She supported her husband when he decided to resign after the Emergency was imposed in 1975. Thereafter Fali started practicing at the Supreme Court.
Daughter-in-law Dr Sanaya Nariman gives credit to Bapsi’s "strict training” that helped Rohinton and his sister Anaheeta become "top notch professionals.” Anaheeta is a speech and play therapist for young children and geriatric therapist for the elderly. "Being multi-faceted, Bapsi mummy played the piano, sang beautifully and was a superb seamstress: she even made clothes for her great-grandchildren!”
Top and above: Bapsi Nariman (ext left), Zarina (in her lap) with (from l) Anaheeta,
Khursheed, Nina, Rohinton, Sanaya and Fali
To Nina, "Granny was a formidable force. I spent many hours with her discussing everything and nothing.” Born to Shireen and Framroze Contractor, Nina recounted her grandmother had grown up "in the rough and tumble of a household with two brothers who used to treat her like a ball they could throw around. (Her paternal grandfather Khan Sahib Sorabji Contractor had constructed the Taj Mahal Hotel in Bombay and also the Gateway of India.) Fali grandpa on the other hand grew up a sheltered, single child. Their early upbringing definitely showed in their relationship. If they ever had a disagreement, Granny would walk away from it smiling, while my grandpa would bubdo and fabdo (fret and fume) for the next 15 minutes.
"Her zest for life was insatiable… She unwittingly taught us all, by example, that you can do anything you put your mind to. She had wanted to be an interior decorator, but when life determined otherwise, she threw herself into social activities.”
Her first great-grandchild, Zarina, was named after her. Bapsi who disliked the name given to her was originally called Zarina at birth, renamed Bhikaiji when her grandmother who was supposed to be a very lucky lady died, and finally christened Bapsi (since her mother Shireen thought Bhikaiji was a name befitting an old lady). Of the firm belief that nine is a lucky number (she was born on September 9), she was delighted when Cyrus, her second great-grandchild was born on June 9 exactly two years prior to her demise.
Younger granddaughter Khursheed Nariman, a noted sculptor, says, "‘Positive thinking’ was actually the thing she preached and practiced the most over the years!” The granddaughters knew that if they were apprehensive of winning a tournament or a moot competition, or an artwork not shaping up well, a look from her reminded them to say "‘Positive thinking.’ Then she’d grin, kiss us and say now we would do great.”
Buoyant Bapsi is survived by her husband Fali, daughter Anaheeta and son Rohinton.