From Farrukh Dhondy’s
Grannies, Groins and Growing Up
A Further Education
I
Mamawaji said, "Now you’ve done with school
Stay home and learn to cook and clean and sew.”
Those were the last things mum wanted to know
As they would lead to marriage to some fool
By arrangement and meetings of the clans
To compare their prospects and horoscopes
And mum wanted a different life — her hopes
Were all to do with academic plans.
But granddad was adamant. "Girls don’t go
To college — they become child-bearing wives.”
Then ma would argue using famous lives
Of well-known Parsi women. Even so,
My grandpa’s word was, in that household, law
Which they, without question, had to endure.
II
Mum graduated from a Parsi school
(Endowed by Parsis) with an English head
Called Miss Amery whose insistence led
To defiance of my grandfather’s rule.
Miss Amery came riding coach and horses
To the middle-class Parsi neighborhood
To persuade my granddad that degree courses
In history or law or English would
Enhance his daughter’s prospects for a good
Match to an educated, well-born boy
Though she really believed women should
Stand on their own feet — this was just a ploy.
Miss Amery’s visit was indiscreet;
No white woman had stepped into our street.
III
The best crockery was brought out for tea.
A cake was sent for from the bakery
And grandma changed into her best sari
All in obeisance to Miss Amery.
My granddad immediately changed his tune
Of course, he’d give his sincere consent.
It was high time our Parsi children went
To college — of course it wasn’t too soon…
By the time Miss Amery left our house
The neighbors had stepped out of doors to see
A ‘lady’s’ coach on our street did arouse
Wonder and jealous curiosity.
And now my granddad had to keep his word —
Keeping a bright girl at home was absurd.
IV
Miss Amery had pulled the self-same trick
On the family of my mother’s friend
And both girls’ fathers were obliged to stick
To their word. They promised that they would send
Shireen and Mani to Wadia College,
A violation of orthodox text.
Some said, "This is the thin end of the wedge —
Girls mixing with strange boys, whatever next?”
They weren’t the first Parsi girls to enrol.
That distinction belonged to one Jeroo
Dastur, the daughter of a rich family who
Were struck by scandal when their Jeroo stole
Away with a Muslim boy. They eloped!
The end of what my mum wished for and hoped.
Cheek to Cheek
I
Forty years later my mum learned the truth.
We were watching a film on TV —
A song came on and mother turned to me
Saying, "You were so clingy in your youth.
When you were four or five your dad and I
Used to dance cheek to cheek whenever this
Played on the radio and your dad would kiss
My cheek. Do you remember you would try
To stop us by yanking at my sari?
You were quite insistent and always strong-
-ly objected when we danced to this song —
At four years old a fit of jealousy!”
My kids were amused as the old song played.
I said "Mum, you got it wrong. I’m afraid
II
It was nothing to do with jealousy.
This song begins with ‘I’m in Heaven, I’m
in Heaven…’ God help me, ’cos at the time
I had been told, I think by our Chandri
That when you left this world — that’s when you died —
You went to heaven if you’d lived a good
Life and no magic or mortal prayer could
Bring you back to life. And that’s why I cried
Out when you two sang words which meant you’d gone
To heaven from which there was no return!”
Mum’s features assumed a sudden concern.
"My God,” she said, "your dad went on an on
About how you had to learn to share love —
I hope he’s listening from heaven above!”
Reprinted with permission from the author.