"The walks were an emotional journey. They gave me time with my thoughts and time to be with my Dad. I cried, I smiled, I remembered,” wrote Meher Verghese of Singapore when Parsiana sought to ascertain the outcome of the fund-raising walk she had ventured on to support Smile Train, a cause very dear to her late father Dr Hirji Adenwalla. The father of cleft reconstructive surgery in India, Adenwalla’s demise on May 27, 2020 at the age of 90 when he was in Coimbatore and she in Singapore and international travel had ground to a halt during the pandemic prevented her from joining the family in India.
"These are indeed unique and difficult times. I naturally wanted to be with my family but after multiple visits to the Indian embassy, I realized that this was not going to happen.” A teacher of Visual Arts at Nexus International School, "the summer break stretching out in front of me, usually a time of fun and laughter with everyone in India, now seemed dark and bleak. From the depths of my sorrow appeared this chink of light in the form of an idea, to remember my father by doing something which he loved,” she shared her anguish.
To attune herself with the activities and causes promoted by her father, Verghese set herself a goal of covering 20 km a day on foot for 40 days to raise the targeted amount of Rs 30 lakhs. With the support of 158 donors, on the 39th day of her walk on August 4 she had completed 800 km and was able to raise Rs 30,54,369 that would finance 120 cleft lip surgeries. Waking up at 5 or 5.30 a.m. each day, "the first couple of days were painful, my blisters a constant reminder of what I had talked myself into. Fortunately these settled and my gait resembled more a stride rather than a hobble!” Thursdays were her weekly rest days when she would take three-hour sessions with her International Baccalaureate students during the vacation. Since school reopened on August 3, on the last two days, the walks were to the school.
(Clockwise from above l) Meher Verghese: on her walk in Singapore; Dr Hirji Adenwalla with
families he had impacted; Thomas and Meher
"I would like to think I have come through stronger, not just because of the walks but due to the caring support I have had from my family.” Husband Thomas Verghese joined her on a walk over the weekend, and was summoned "a couple of times to pick me up quite early in the morning as I got caught in stormy weather.” Elder daughter Sarah who is pursuing her Masters in Creative Production in the UK "organized a couple of long walks with a friend since she could not walk with me.” Younger daughter Shanaya, a student of Animal Biology Welfare and Ethics at the Royal Veterinary College, London University, who is currently home until January 2021 taking online courses, took over the everyday shorter walks for our dog. Meher often chatted with mother Gulnar in India during parts of the walk. Brother Firdaus from the UK as well as India based sister Homai Kumaravelu called every day to check on her well-being.
"The heartwarming response from a number of people who knew Dad and contacted me through social media to share their anecdotes and the generosity of those who gave so readily to a cause so dear to his heart filled me with a sense of pride and joy and made me realize how blessed I was to have shared so much with him,” stated Meher. Brief video clips, incorporating photos of her walks and memories of her father were periodically posted on YouTube to keep donors apprised.
In one of those she referred to an album maintained by the doctor of before and after pictures of children on whom he had operated. Traveling in their blue Ambassador car on holidays in India, one of the frequent family games was "I spy” when each of them would be on a vigil to see if they spotted anyone with a cleft deformity. If they did, the car was brought to a halt and Hirji would persuade the traumatized family to bring the child to his clinic with an assurance that he would take care of their travel and surgery costs.
The walks helped her discover "a side of Singapore I never knew existed. I realized how well planned the city was as lovely parks and canals were connected through the urban areas by well-marked park connectors. I found the forest paths most interesting, especially the ones not open to the public. I came across a cobra eating a python which was both gruesome and fascinating. Always expected the roles to be reversed. I just managed to avoid an encounter with an angry snake as it fell onto the path in front of me. Wild boars kept me on my toes and I often had to take a hasty diversion as they stood stubbornly on the path daring me to pass them. These encounters were worth it as the paths often led to reservoirs with beautiful views. I would spend a few peaceful minutes taking in the spectacular picture that nature had laid out that morning and would feel Dad’s presence enjoying the spectacle with me.”
The daughter related one of Hirji’s walks in Coonoor when a passing tourist car sought directions from him to a popular destination. Realizing the convoluted journey, he sat in the car to help them navigate a difficult leg of the route. When the passengers in the vehicle asked him his vocation the humble surgeon remarked, "I am a guide!” On alighting from the car, they insisted on recompensing him with Rs 10 for his valuable service which he accepted because money for him was only meant to be passed on to the next deserving person.
"Dad may have physically left us but he has given us an unending stream of rich memories and mountains of learning. I draw from this every hour of every day, be it from work or at home. His whole bearing seemed to exude a sense of calmness and balance and I suppose putting all those miles under my feet knowing that he was beside me helped take away the anger, sorrow and frustration, and replace it with an overwhelming sense of inner peace.”
Meher continues to draw solace from the A. A. Milne quote from Winnie the Pooh shared by a friend: "If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”